Making Friends As An Adult


Soooo... I realise most of my posts revolve around awesome stuff in Australia and around the world, but I've also wanted to use this platform as a way to express what I've learned about myself while living overseas. One of the biggest realisations: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS!! 


Let's make more friends by pinning this article!


Seriously, as an adult, it's difficult to make friends. You're no longer confined to a classroom of peers or in multiple after school activities. When I first moved here, I thought to myself, "I know a few people, so I'll have no problem making friends." Here's the problem, most of my friends were holiday friends, not close friends I had known for a majority of my life. Sure, there's the occasional get-together, but when it comes down to that close-knit group of friends I had in the states, it's just not the same. 


So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap, clap, clap, clap)

I work in a very isolating profession. I pretty much only interact 1:1 with kiddos under the age of 8 (oh yeah, my best mate still picks his nose). Most people can make friends at work, but that just isn't an option for me. Also, I have horrible social anxiety. If you don't know me, I'm insanely shy. Unless I'm comfortable around someone else in the group, chances are I won't talk much. After I'm comfortable, good luck shutting me up! So really....How does one make friends as an adult?

Get Over the Fear of Rejection

Just like most things in life, sometimes you're going to fail at making friends. I'm not saying every time you go out you're going to make new enemies and eventually be so lonely that you turn into a super-villain and try to wipe out Gotham City. There are just going to be people you just don't click with. It happens. So just be bold! Walk up to someone with no fear and say, "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me because I'm new to town and we should totally explore together and become BFFs!" Worse they'll say no and have Call Me Maybe stuck in their head for the rest of the night. Which comes to my next point...

Put Effort into Your Social Life

Have you ever been in the "talking" phase of budding new romance and then it just started to fizzle? Was it possibly because neither party was putting enough effort into it? The same goes for your social life. To make friends, you have to continuously put yourself out there. Meeting someone once is not always going to turn into a best friend/soul mate that you could never live without. Like romantic relationship...hell like fracking everything in life... new friendships need some attention. You need to be open and vulnerable and, of course, you have to BE YOURSELF! Keep up with it, and eventually, friendships will start to blossom. 


Hit the nail on the head there Bill


Hobbies, Hobbies, & More Hobbies

What better way to make friends then by finding people that share similar interests to you. Do you love hiking? Dancing around like you're Queen-B herself? What about underwater basket weaving? Chances are, there are other people in the city that share your similar interest! Hobbies are a great way to meet people who share similar interests. Be bold! Sign up for that wine and painting class, a book club, walking group, or whatever else might interest you!

Meetup.com 


There are quite a few apps that allow you to make friends. In Melbourne, I've found this was the best. At first, I was really hesitant to join this site. I swear everyone tells you about the horrors of the internet and how you should never do something alone...blah blah blah. Well when you live solo in a new city, you kind of have to do things alone. I gave this site a chance when I first moved to San Diego. After a few weeks of talking myself into going to an event, I actually had a bunch of fun! When I moved to Melbourne, I was definitely less hesitant to find some groups. You're able to select groups based on things you're interested in. It's brilliant! And after going once, you soon find out that there are plenty of other people in the same boat as you! 

The Cycle of Friends

Not all friendships are created equal, not all friendships last, and not all friendships are constant. Sadly, this is just a fact of life. Know that this cycle happens, and hopefully, you won't be so down on yourself. The positive to this cycle: it opens up the doors to meet plenty of new people and expand your horizons. 

The biggest thing I've realized is that you really need to PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE! It's scary and mildly terrifying especially when you're in a city where you know absolutely no one. But guess what you're not alone! The more I've put on my big girl panties, faced my fears and attempted to make friends, the more I've truly begun to appreciate and enjoy the awesome city I live in! So here's to making friends in a new city or new friends all over the world! And until next time...



Shout out to all my friends back home!


Stay Curious!

Never miss an adventure by following along on social media:
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

27 comments

  1. excellent advice for everyone. You GO girl!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hehe, I've always been terrible at making friends, and just like you, unless I'm really close to the people, I'm gonna be silent. Hobbies are definitely my most common way of making friends...specifically basketball and poker. I tend to be the biggest loudmouth when playing games cud I'm so competitive, haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sport definitely brings out my competitive side as well. But its also a great way to meet new people! I've been contemplating joining an Aussie Rules tough team to meet new people and learn how to play.

      Delete
  3. I have found it quite difficult to make friends as an adult. Ive been an adult for nearly a couple decades or so. I went to a few meetups but probably not enough. One meetup i really enjoyed was the hiking meetup. I am thinking of meeting more artsy groups as well since we may share more in common. What has your experience been with meetup?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had some positive and negative experiences with meetup. I've found that the meetup groups that were co-ed or the ones that revolved around drinking, weren't for me. I've found a great meetup group here in Melbourne where I've met some amazing women. One of my mates and I actually just started a group thats a split from the original for girls on our side of the city. If you're not finding a meetup group that suits you, try making your own!

      Delete
  4. Starting upc conversation isn't hard for me. Living in a new state for a year and a half I did start conversations with my neighbors which which lead to cookouts or just going out to a restaurant for a cup of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I envy people like you! I wish I could do that. That is a great idea though! Getting to know your neighbours. Our neighbourhood seems fairly friendly so I might take a crack at that.

      Delete
  5. Had an experience living in another country, it was difficult af first because i still don't know how to speak Cantonese. But then i made friends with Filipinos like me and few Chinese friends. Great advice for those having a difficulty making friends. ☺️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea living in another country can make it a bit challenging. I've found it's quite easy to make friends with other Americans because we have that similar tie however, I found I wasn't enjoying Australia as much. When I started putting in the effort to make friends with other Aussies, I felt much more at home.

      Delete
  6. Wow!! This is a great post! I thought I was the only one having problems making friends as a an adult. I honestly don't have any tips. I usually just sit in my house and talk to my furbabies. I NEED friends!! I may try the app you suggested. I'm scared but hey, I found my fiancé online why not a friend. Again, thank you for this awesome post!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so difficult! But I feel a good majority of people are on the same boat so we shouldn't be so afraid to put ourselves out there. Fear tends to always be a massive obstacle for me.

      Delete
  7. This post is amazing, All the time I shitting at home and that's why have not that much friends but few Social Media app help me to make few Good friends around the world and the app is Facebook and Rabadaba. They really help me alot and yea I am also a Shay kind of person so that make it more difficult.������

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so happy that social media has been a great outlet for you to make friends! It's awesome having friends around the world. Facebook and Rabadaba are awesome ways to make friends :)

      Delete
  8. This article just says it all on how can an individual get over the problems of not having friends ..I started to 1st date over phone but as we started expanding putting down our efforts removing the fear of what happens next we were getting happier .. some relations yeah are momentary..but hey they even leave a snap in life book ..well said all the above accounts to single fact and nthng fancy to write about..cheers ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's great! Sometimes getting over that fear is the hardest part.

      Delete
  9. Truly said ..making friends would be lot more easier if the above sayings are really followed .. good article about how judgemental one can be about making friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think as long as we set goals for ourselves and stick to them, its very attainable. We can't be worried about others because then we'll get stuck in a rut of never doing anything. Be bold and be yourself and the friendships will happen :)

      Delete
  10. This is really helpful especially to shy people like me. I don't have many friends in real life. So I've tried some sns and apps that will help me gain some friends. Niw I have few online friends and it's fun chatting with them. Anyway thanks for this it really helps.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thus is really helpful and lots of people relate to this problem. I'm still a student, but I'm already having a hard time making friends. I've tried some sns and appa to help me gain more friends. Now I hve few online friend and it's fun talking with them.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I do find it difficult to make friends sometimes because nerves get in the way. I get nervous of what people will think of me or that they will think I'm awkward. I know I need to get over the fear of rejection and this is honestly an article I needed to read so thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its so hard to get over that fear and it isn't something that will go away over night but knowing that most people are in the same boat as you might help ease the nervousness.

      Delete
  13. It is difficult to make new friends as an adult. Over the years I have come to realization that quality is more important than quantity so I stick to a few but true friends. I actually got one bestfriend I keep over the years and we are together since elementary days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely agree with you. Quality over quantity for sure! My best friend and I have been friends since preschool the only problem is she lives in American and I live in Australia. So awesome you and your mate are still best friends! It's always great to have life long friendships.

      Delete
  14. One of the biggest challenges of life has always been making friends (only with the opposite sex). Even when I was little, I was always shy (that hasn't changed much btw), and this made it even more challenging and that hasn't changed much till today. I do have a couple of really close friends (both dudes), and we meet every now and then but I've kinda grown accustomed to not making any new friends. Maybe it's trust issues or something deeper, but it is what it is so, yeah. Great article though, it definitely was a refreshing read!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am not an adult but I can still relate as a student. It's hard making new friends because you have no idea what to make small talk with. Your advice is great, I'll definitely take them when I'm in a situation when I have to make small talk or friends.

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's so much harder to make friends as adults :( I think you're right I need to get over the fear of rejection and put myself out there! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Having moved several times as an adult, I agree! It is hard making friends as an adult. Thanks for the great tips!!

    ReplyDelete