Meet My Partner!

Tuesday, 26 May 2015
Let me preface this post by saying it really has nothing to do with my partner. More so how much I prefer the use of the word partner to the term boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé/husband/wife etc.

Howdy Partner!
I must admit when I first got asked if I had a partner I was a little taken aback. In the U.S., the term partner is more commonly used in the LBGTQ community. So as I was sitting the back of my mate’s car and his misses asked me if I had a partner I just assumed he had told her I wasn’t into guys to make it a little less weird that I was staying at his house for the next two weeks (shame on my ignorance). But didn’t really question it because the last thing I wanted to do was cause issues and either way, at that time the answer was no. Since living in Australia, I actually prefer the term partner to any other term. I have a couple reasons why:
  •  No Pressure: This may just be me, but I feel by using the term partner the pressure is off. I don’t feel pressured to do what society or family/friends think I should be doing. It’s great! I feel like I can truly focus on the relationship part of a relationship! Woohoo!
  • “So When Are you ______”: This has to be the biggest difference I notice when introducing my significant other to people. When I say, “This is my boyfriend ___” I tend to get bombarded with questions like,  “How long have you been dating?”, “When are you getting engaged”; etc. I have friends that are engaged or married, and they’re often asked, “When’s the wedding?”, “How long what you been engaged?” “When are you having children”; etc. I have never once been asked these questions when I introduce my significant other as my partner. People do not focus on the stepping point of our relationship we “fall” into but instead turn their focus on getting to actually know my partner. SHOCKER!!
  • It's Not a Checklist People!: Why do I get the feeling that relationships are turning into a massive checklist? Maybe this is part of the reason some marriages fail? Congrats! You're dating! Then, woohoo! You're engaged. Next, you've gone and got married and popped out a few kids…what’s next? There really isn’t another milestone where you can level up in the relationship. If the relationship consisted of ticking boxes, it’s likely going to fail. No checklist=no pressure to conform to what’s expected within a relationship. For the first time EVER, I haven’t felt the weight of this “checklist”. So what if I choose to not have children. Who cares if I don’t ever get married! Who cares if we decided to move to Antarctica and adopt a bunch of penguins as children. We’ll do what we feel is best for us!
  • It’s an All-Inclusive Title: By using the term partner, you’re not singling out any group of people. Saying the word partner makes it, so there is no awkward looks or apprehensive discussions when you assume someone is heterosexual. That way there’s no awkward conversation about how you just assumed a person fell into a certain category.
  • It Really is a Partnership: Sometimes I get the feeling that people are in relationships just to say they are. That totally defeats the purpose of being in a relationship. Yea maybe in high school or primary school it’s cool to say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend because that means you’re “mature” but once you hit your twenties, it really becomes more than your newest flavour of the week. By using the term partner, I truly feel like we are equals in the relationship. He is the person I’m choosing to share my life with. He’s there for the ups and the downs. I value his opinion. It is not a one-sided relationship. It’s a partnership. Decisions are made together. Even simple ones like which planter we should put in the backyard for the herb garden!

Starfish love me, LOVE ME!!!!!!
I guess at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter how you label your significant other. As long as you find that person who brings home dumplings or burgers because they knew you were craving them, or the person who will sit on the couch, poking you, screaming love me, LOVE ME! whilst you giggle like children, or simply that person who you can sit in the car and talk for hours or say nothing at all and still have an amazing time… what else really matters?

Which term is most common in your country? Do you prefer the term boyfriend/girlfriend to the term partner or visa versa? Share your stories in the comments below!

And until next time...
Stay curious!

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